My dear Bhisma,
My eternal baby, my mama’s boy.
The time has come and your eyes will not return to me. I remember the first day that my eyes found you and you adopted us. You were there barking in that abandoned house thinking that your family was still there and they would open the door for you, but Lord Krishna had other plans — much better plans and then the doors of our house were open for you. I remember how you would jump with excitement at feeding time. I remember how you liked to play with and destroy plastic bags. I remember the love that you had for your sister, Milk. I remember how you smelled. I remember your beautiful wavy brown hair. I remember that you never learned to give kisses to us. I remember when you pretended to be an angry dog. I remember when your body gradually lost strength when your legs stopped working, and how you had to use diapers. I remember when your eyes were filled with cataracts and you just wanted to sleep and sleep. I remember that until the end, you were moving your tail with excitement.
Please forgive me for failing you. Please forgive me for all those time that I was not there for you because I was too busy working to get the money to give you all that you and your brothers and sisters need. I’m your mother, but I feel that I let you down. I was not there 100% of the time, because I wanted to give you all that you needed — the best food; the best veterinary care; the best bed, etc, but my lack of intelligence did not allow me to make money so easy, so I had to work hard to make you happy and, sadly, this kept me occupied and away from you too much.
I sacrificed so many things for your pleasure. I paid a big price. I didn’t sleep with you all that I wanted. I didn’t play with you as much as I should have, and so I’m so jealous of your father, Ekala. While he enjoyed your company, I got lost in my work, so please forgive me.
Please forgive me for all the missed kisses. Please forgive me for the hugs that I didn’t give you. Please forgive me for all the tickles in the belly that I didn’t give you.
And now that your body lays there lifeless and your soul has taken a new path, we are still here without you and it hurts.
Will you one day come back to me? I am sure our souls will meet again and we’ll be together forever. These materials bodies cannot hinder us, for our love is eternal.
I love you. I can’t show you how much I love you, but, believe me, I really love you.
May the Lord allow us to be together again in eternity
( He was named after a great Prince from ancient India, Grandfather Bhisma, who was a lifelong celibate and had he benediction to die only when he decided to)
– Juliana ( Mom)
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